Friday, April 18, 2014

I Deserve This!

I am sad to say that I have been totally unmotivated for the last two weeks.  I haven't been running and my diet has gone straight to hell.  I was down two extra pounds...but not anymore.  Ugh!  Today after eating Fiesta Ole (yum!), a Dunford donut (double yum!!) and a very regrettable and unsatisfying Hot Pocket (when is eating a Hot Pocket ever a good idea??), I have finally found myself low enough to kindle a spark of motivation.  Time to refocus!  Okay maybe after this next donut...

As I am trying to get myself back on track I find myself contemplating why I often lose my way on the diet path.  I mean, besides the obvious fact that burgers, fries and donuts are delicious and carrots, yogurt and tofu are lame, of course. 

I deserve this.  I've earned this.  I need this to feel better.

Yes, folks, my name is Kelly and I am an emotional eater.  The mindset of I deserve this pizza/chocolate/french fry because I had a bad day/good day is the number one way I derail my diet.  EVERY TIME.  I know that I'm doing it and that I shouldn't, but it always seems like a good idea at the time.  Sometimes I feel like my diet would benefit more from a shrink than a personal trainer.  Although I desperately want to change this behavior, there is always a part of me that just as desperately wants to hang on to it.  Because food equals love.  Because when I have to take a pile of allergy meds and get a billion allergy shots in 2 hours I really do feel like I deserve a chocolate sundae.  And when I work 14 hours at the Summer Blow Out Sale I really do feel like I've earned pizza and a giant Dr. Pepper.  And when I have a 2 lb baby in the NICU I really do feel like that hamburger and fries is going to make me feel better (it doesn't!).

I am not meaning to make this blog post depressing.  I really am feeling more focused and motivated and I think that recognizing self-defeating behavior is helpful. I do think that people should treat themselves.  Food is meant to be enjoyed and shouldn't be an enemy.  I just need to learn how to make those naughty foods more of an occasional reward and less of a "need".  So far I haven't figured out how to do that.   However, I have three things I am going to do this week to help myself stay on track:
1.  Stricter menu planning for myself.  It's harder to be naughty when I already know what I'm going to eat.
2.  Get my butt back on the treadmill.  This is for lots of reasons, but if I happen to need a chocolate sundae then at least I can kick my metabolism up a notch.  Hooray.
3.  Drink more water.  I used to be the water queen.  Time to break out my beloved 100 oz Maverick mug!

If anyone has had any success with changing self-defeating behaviors I would be open to suggestions!
I promise the next post won't be so lame. 

2 comments:

  1. I loved this sooooo much. Hits so close to home. I will be watching for suggestions. Keep up the good work woman!!!! You got it.

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